The Pist-Gazette Endorses Mark DeSantis For Mayor

Do I Really Have To Explain Why?

Hounded By The Press, Ravenstahl Takes To His Couch

Vows Not To Attend Steeler Games Until After Election


Not finding much sympathy here at home, Mayor Luke Ravenstahl has taken his whining all the way to the Big Apple. According to Luke and the New York Times, in the year he’s been mayor he kept the Penguins from leaving, balanced the budget for a second consecutive year, kept crime low and persuaded two developers to take on troublesome Fifth & Forbes.

And how has the city repaid this Wonder Boy? We’ve hounded him. We’ve disrespected him. We’ve nipped relentlessly at his tail driving him to become a Diet Pepsi junkie with a 12-can a day habit. His nerves are so frayed, bottle caps are piling up on the floor of his car faster than BBQ sauce and charcoal briquettes on a hot summer’s night at a Toby Keith concert.

Paranoid and convinced the media is out to get him, Ravenstahl nonetheless has retained the presence of mind to seek advice from New York Mayor Michael Bloomberg on matters of great importance.

“I asked him how he can go golfing every weekend and not get attacked,” Ravenstahl whimpered.

And how does the Boy Who Would Be King plan to turn the situation around?

“I just can’t enjoy the [Steelers] game when I know I’m going to get hounded by the press the whole time,” lamented Ravenstahl, eyes downcast, lip quivering.

He therefore has taken to his couch, now forced to watch the games, at home, alone, just he and his wife.

Heartbreaking. Simply heartbreaking.

Delano Fills In Some Of The Blanks

KDKA’s John Delano spoke with Kevin Miller this afternoon, filling in some of the details regarding the Ravenstahl “Tailgate” saga. (Witty term coined by Teacher. Wordsmith. Madman.)

Delano says his various sources have reported to him that the GMC Yukon in question was one of four delivered to the Pittsburgh Police Department as part of a Homeland Security grant. From the moment the SUVs were delivered, Chief Harper said they would be great back-up vehicles for the mayor. Sgt Mona Wallace, who applied for the grant in the first place, immediately explained to Harper that the vehicles could not be used in that manner. She explained the vehicles were paid for with federal monies and therefore had specific use restrictions per grant guidelines.

Harper therefore knew of the usage restrictions from day one, but the black Yukon was nonetheless handed out to Mayor Ravenstahl on various occasions from day one. Those occasions were purportedly the US Open (when UPMC paid for the mayor’s $9000 entry fee), possibly the Mario Lemieux Golf Tournament (where Luke stalked Tiger Woods), the Toby Keith concert at the Post-Gazette Pavilion as well as others. Other occasions, oddly enough, where Chief of Staff Yarone Zober was a passenger in the Yukon. The same Yarone Zober who witnessed the Homeland Security grant in March 2006.

Sgt. Wallace sent many emails up the chain of command warning her superiors that the mayor’s repeated joyrides constituted misuse of grant funds. All her emails were ignored and the last straw for Sgt. Wallace came when the Yukon was returned from the Toby Keith shindig with BBQ stains and charcoal briquette remnants.

It was then Sgt Wallace broke the chain of command by emailing Public Safety Director Michael Huss who subsequently told Chief Harper to “take care of it.” Maybe Harper misunderstood what Huss meant by those words, or maybe not. In any event, Sgt Wallace was written up to be disciplined at that point.

Not sitting still at the prospect of being railroaded, Wallace hired an attorney and was within 24 hours of filing a suit, when lucky for Pittsburgh taxpayers, Director Huss reversed the disciplinary action.

So Chief Nate Harper was aware of the vehicle misuse. Yarone Zober was aware of the vehicle misuse. Maybe we have another round of departmental purgings and a national replacement search on the horizon.

Chief Harper: Ravenstahl Homeland Security SUV Use Okay Because Everybody Else Was Using It Too

Mary Beth Buchanan Should Be Happy with 99% Compliance


During an October 3rd interview, Chief Nate Harper insisted that no rules were broken when Mayor Luke Ravenstahl used a Homeland Security SUV to take he, his wife and friends to a Toby Keith concert.

“These vehicles were purchased, yes, though Homeland Security, but they aren’t specifically always 100% used for homeland security. For example, they are assigned to the Intel Unit, they never have been reassigned to any other entity within the city, therefore, when the Intel detectives do go out for other investigations they utilized those same vehicles. They don’t switch vehicles and say ‘Oh, wait I can’t use this vehicle because its not pertaining to Homeland Security.’ Those vehicles have always been assigned there and if……For example, we have a homicide, and I have no vehicles for those homicide detectives to get out to the scene in it, those detectives will utilize those vehicles that are available.”

Thank you Chief Harper for clarifying appropriate alternative usage of the GMC Yukon in instances such as homicide investigations. But what about Toby Keith concerts for the mayor? Does the grant insist that the Homeland Security SUV be used 100% of the time for Homeland Security purposes? Does it allow usage for other “official business”? If so, might that be a Toby Keith concert? The Post Gazette tried to ascertain the answer to those very questions but the mayor’s office would not release the grant documents, saying they were “for official use only”. Much like the Yukon, no doubt.

The young mayor admits he’s used the Yukon for personal trips such as going to see his mom and dad or going to bars with his wife and friends. But that was before he realized the vehicle was purchased with federal funds. As soon as he was made aware of its Homeland Security status, the mayor quit using the vehicle.

And when was that? “It was brought to my attention within the time frame it was brought to my attention” the mayor responded.

Asked to clarify that answer the mayor said, “The word got to me whenever the word got to me.”

Nonetheless, Chief Harper seems to think no wrongdoing occurred in the first place because the vehicle has been regularly used for other purposes anyway.

“These vehicles are purchased, yes, through Homeland Security, but they aren’t specifically 100 percent always used for Homeland Security,” Harper said. He went on to say that he’s looked at the details of the grant and insists “other” usage of the Yukon is allowable.

So will the mayor continue to bar-hop and attend concerts in the big, bad Intel vehicle? Chief Harper has apparently mastered the art of the non-answer answer:

“It will be used 99% of the time ….. Its permanently assigned to the Intel unit. That is part of the contract, contractual agreement with Homeland Security. It never was intended to be reassigned to any other entity within the Pittsburgh Police Bureau. Therefore as I stated, if for example we’re in an emergency situation where we need to get to a scene or we need to deploy some officers, and its not a Homeland Security event, are you saying that then I should let those vehicles sit, not utilize them, indeed officers stand by to wait for a vehicle to come back in? We aren’t going to do that. We’re going to respond to emergencies as needed with any vehicle that we have within the Pittsburgh Police Bureau.”

Well, glad that’s cleared up. Glad and reassured to know the next time the mayor has a Toby Keith concert emergency, or an acute need to belt down the brewskis with staff and friends…..there will be a brand new, fully loaded, Homeland Security Intel vehicle to whisk him right to the scene.

The Pist-Gazette is certain Mary Beth Buchanan will see this in just the same way.

The Mayor Has Embraced Himself

He Says We All Need To Do The Same


In his own words:
"But at the end of the day, I'm still going to continue to be who I'm going to be, and go to concerts like I always have, and go to have a drink with my wife in bars. That's what 27-year-olds do and I shouldn't be any different . . . I'm not going to change my life to appease the media or appease somebody who wants me to be somebody I'm not. I think the fact that I'm 27 is something the city should embrace and it's something that I've embraced.”

What he neglected to add is that he’s a handsome, buff hunk who enjoys his cigars and his nights out on the town with his soon-to-be mover-and-shaker friends and a posse of taxpayer bodyguards in tow. Of course the youngest, coolest mayor ever is entitled to the baddest pimped ride on the city’s lot.

Fortunately, all of this has not been lost on his new, hip Press Secretary who thinks the mayor “is as nice a person as he is handsome!” Nor her husband, Our Hero and the city’s Development Czar, who “looooooooves Luke and all the lovely women who work with Luke.” (Please refer to cached versions of “Love of Chair” for complete details)

Yes, Luke and his young posse are positioned to “move this city forward” to heights we’ve only dreamed of. If only we jealous, petty citizens would embrace this young man, his vision and his star qualities.

Well, the rest of us better get on board! This is Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania’s Party Town! Our bridges may be falling down, our sewers exploding, our taxes out the wazoo and bankruptcy looming …… But we’ve got ourselves a 27 year old mayor!

Wa-hoooooo! I’m psyched, aren’t you?

It's So Easy To Tell When Ravenstahl Is Lying

Homeland Security SUV Just The Latest Example

His weaving, bobbing, fluttering eyelids and/or lack of direct eye contact when being interviewed are usually all the clues that are needed for one to know when the mayor is lying. But what about those times when he’s interviewed off-camera? Without body language clues to guide us, how can we tell if the mayor is scamming us once again?

Aside from the fact that when Ravenstahl speaks, it usually is a lie ……Still, there are some very simple ways to immediately tell when the boy is dishing out the bull:

If the mayor says he’s “not aware” or “unaware”, that usually means just the opposite:
- Joyriding in Homeland Security SUVs: “Mr. Ravenstahl said he was not aware that the [GMC Yukon] was paid for with federal Homeland Security funds when he was using it for things like business travel to Harrisburg and for his personal use, including a Toby Keith concert in August.”
- Missing the Casino Hearing: “Mr. Ravenstahl said last night that the trip was planned months ago, and until a staff member notified him of the fervor at the meeting Tuesday night, he was unaware the mailer indicated he would be present.”
- Promoting Wife-Beating Cops: “With regard to Charles Rodriguez and Eugene F. Hlavac, as I have said, I was unaware of there being any issues in their background prior to public reports last week.”

If the mayor says he “never intended” or it was “never his intention” to do something, you can bet that was his plan from day one:
- Increasing His Staff While Denying It Will Increase His Budget: "This is just a reorganization," the mayor said. "I want to stress that there is no intention of increasing the mayor's office budget. This will not do that."
- Crashing Tiger Woods: "Once I found that out, and once I was invited, certainly I accepted. But I did not go out there knowing that American Express had the opportunity to go with him that afternoon. That was never my intention. My intention was simply to say hello, welcome him, and spend, you, know, a minute or two with him."
- Blowing Off the North Side to Watch The Red Sox: The mayor’s office tells KDKA Ravenstahl never intended to attend the public meeting on the North Side and that the postcard asking residents to join him was an administrative mistake.
- Blowing Off Domestic Abuse Meeting to Play Golf: "I never intended to go," he said after speaking at a celebration in West Park for the pending redevelopment of the Garden Theater on the North Side.


When the mayor awkwardly inserts the word “myself” into any sentence, alarm bells should immediately go off:
- Hill District Inclusion in Arena Development: "Myself and the county executive have been meeting regularly with the organizations in the Hill District," he said. "We are going to continue to meet with them."
- The Need For Bodyguards When Partying Till 1AM: “There are times when if I do something personal at somebody's home, I'll go with my wife and myself," he said. But if he's out politicking, or grabbing dinner and drinks, he's accompanied.
- Explaining Heinz Field Drunk & Disorderly: "Myself and other individuals in the front were really not even in control of ourselves," he said. "We couldn't control ourselves because of the force from behind.”


And if the mayor doesn’t remember where he was, where or what he ate, where he slept or even how he got there…..
- Blowing off The Hill to Party With Burkle: "Pittsburgh Mayor Luke Ravenstahl hopped a private jet to New York City to have dinner and drinks at a posh Manhattan hotel hours after announcing a $290 million deal to build a new Uptown arena for the Penguins." ..... "When asked about the evening, Ravenstahl said he did not know where he ate." .... "The mayor said he did not remember what part of town he spent the night."

Are we really going to hand this lying Frat Boy the keys to the city? Weren't the keys to the Yukon bad enough?

Something Is Seriously Wrong With Luke Ravenstahl

Ms. Pist has been so overwhelmed with work lately that she’s barely had time to breathe much less keep up with even the summary versions of major developments. Even so, it’s just been too much. These stupid Ravenstahl lies. Ms. Pist may not be able to tolerate hearing one more supid Ravenstahl lie.

All hyperbole aside (and unfortunately I'm not dishing out any) ..... there is some malady at work here. For someone to repeatedly lie when they know they will probably get caught is bad enough. For someone to repeatedly lie when they KNOW FOR CERTAIN there are 8x10 glossies and camera footage available showing them in the midst of that which they are denying.......For someone to repeatedly lie when there are irrefutable records that reporters and others can easily check proving they did what they say they did not do…. This type of behavior is almost beyond description.

It must be one of two things. Luke Ravenstahl has either a mental and/or brain-wiring problem and cannot help himself. Like someone with Tourettes Syndrome. Or Luke Ravenstahl is in some kind of "altered state" whereby he believes himself to be "Master of the Universe" and what we puny little mortals think is of no consequence whatsoever.

Ms. Pist’s bet is on Option #2.

Lastly…… To repeatedly blame your own staff each time you get caught in one of your own amazingly stupid lies is just plain chickenshit.