Mayor Expands “Open Door Policy” By Installing Revolving Door To His Office

New Door Capable of Kicking More People In The Ass While Also Meeting City Visibility Standards; Council Urged to Use Anytime

Ribbon-cutting ceremonies for the mayor’s new revolving door were marred by sharp criticism from City Council today. Councilman Bill Peduto led the charge because the door installation was not put out for competitive bid. Councilman Shields joined with Peduto and asked for a legal opinion from the city solicitor as to whether the no-bid status of the door was lawful. But Mayor Ravenstahl deflected all criticism telling reporters that installing a door which will kick people in the ass more efficiently and at a greater rate of speed qualifies as a professional service and therefore does not have to be put out for open bid.

Weighing in on the fracus, Tonya Payne said she is pleased with the new door because it will serve her Downtown constituents well. Jim Motznik, usually a close Ravenstahl ally, parted ways with the mayor on this issue and cited closing of the city’s asphalt plant as his reason for disagreement. When reminded that the asphalt plant had no bearing on the mayor's new revolving door, Motznik added that “Everything in this city revolves around that asphalt plant. The city will never get back on its financial feet until it is reopened.”